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HINTS FOR YOUNG MEN TO BUILD SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES, PART 1

      One of the joys of writing on topics from a biblical, business and common sense perspective over the years is that as the times advance, a need to revisit certain topics becomes necessary.

      Marriage is one of those topics.

      There is a LOT to unpack on this subject. Thus, I advise my young brothers to grab a mug of coffee or tea and settle down for some teaching on the issue of marriage—from one who has gone before you. The ‘hints’ I am bringing forward to you have been life proven by many men.

      Full disclosure: As one who has Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, along with being a licensed and Ordained Minister of the Gospel, I’ve not been in this position all of my life. I’ve been through a bitter divorce, bankruptcy, the child support wars, the tango of mutual domestic violence, homeless, broke, and a lot of other things. I’ve also picked up my share of enemies once I came to Christ—even in my OWN family. But with every setback, there has been a set up for a comeback. I’ve remarried. Learned how to live marriage FROM the biblical perspective, and in my current marriage, I’ve made it past the thirty years mark—and continuing, praise God.

      So, I’ll be sharing a lot of stuff that has been battle tested and armor worn. Not only from myself, but from men much wiser than myself who have been on the battlefield for the Lord.

      Let me add this: Contrary what you may have been hearing from the ‘mainstream mess’ and social media, young men in this current generation (Gen Z) are more conservative and traditional than the previous generation of men. Nevertheless, do NOT be fooled, my young brother. There is much to learn in this ‘information age’ landscape. All men need to know that the best marriages have Jesus at the center of them! Further, marriage is NOT a fifty-fifty proposition, but a 100-100 commitment. Finding and staying with the right woman for life IS a blessing!

      The FIRST hint that I would pass along to a young man considering marriage is for him to have surrendered his life to Jesus Christ and NOT to marry a woman who has ALSO surrendered her life to Jesus—well before you two have met (II Corinthians 6:14 KJV). I’m not saying that God can’t give a second chance at marriage—for I am a testimony of his love and grace and mercy in the marriage department (Revelation 12:11). However, the aim of being a Christian is ALWAYS upholding his best plan—one man and one woman married for a lifetime.

HINT # 2—BE YE WISE:

     My young brother, be warned. There are MANY women who ‘say’ they want to get married; there are MANY more who say that there are no good men available. In truth? The women in these instances have NOTHING to offer a man interested in marriage. Quantity of available women does NOT mean that they are Quality women. It merely means that there are a lot of females who are not worthy of your time or dating/courtship efforts.

      Be wise in the selection of a wife, for she may look good—but be as shallow as a sink. Be ye wise in assessing yourself. Are YOU ready for marriage; have YOU made—and stuck with those changes in your life (spiritual, emotional, educational, employment, economic) in order to BE an upright (instead of uptight) husband? Do NOT let a woman (or her friends) attempt to ‘push’ you into a relationship if you aren’t prepared. Remember: marriage is NOT for everyone. Some among us—male and female—under God’s plan, are to remain single to serve Him better.

      Years ago, I developed a little ‘pocket speech’ for some of my male students when I taught in a school classroom, and further mentioned it when I was a Probation Officer with my county juvenile court: “If she can out fight you, out cuss you and out drink you, she is NOT for you!” Of course, it didn’t take that long for these young men to find out that I didn’t lie to them.

      Hint #2, my young brother, is becoming more and more obvious since I first spoke my ‘pocket speech’ years ago. We’ve got a generation of women—and their mothers—who think that the way to a man’s heart is through his jaw! Never have there been so many young women on social media who have become experts at having NO CLASS. This is the MAIN result of women falling under the demonic spell of the spirit of Feminism.

      Let’s put a little light on the subject. Since the nineties, America has become a feminized country. Many women—even some who claim to be Christian—have believed the satanic lie that THEY should take the lead in marriage: from the proposal to the ceremony, to the honeymoon, to the home. THEY believe that the WIFE should be the breadwinner, and the HUSBAND should stay home and take care of the house and (if any) kids. This has been ‘backed up’ by a host of TV shows, featuring the ‘whiny, under motivated male’ husband (like Everyone Love Raymond and The King of Queens among others) and/or the hip, single life shows like Sex In The City and Friends. Further, there have been a rising number of shows featuring homosexual men and women in the ‘strong intelligent’ roles.

      In a feminized country, God’s plan and God’s ‘Talking Book’ the KJV Bible is mocked and ridiculed; women have been lured out of the home away from their husbands and children, and marriage is viewed not for love; not to raise a family, but as a status symbol. Divorces rise as women under the ‘spell’ of feminism are discontented because they ‘got what they wanted, but didn’t like what they got’ thus marriages are ended. Thanks to the advent of No Fault divorce (also created by feminists and their weak-kneed male supporters) women who have bought into this toxic brew of satanic rebellion get the house, the car, the kids, alimony AND child support—but discover that the husband that THEY forced out, has been viewed as a godsend by another woman who has NOT bought the feminist lie.

      As Pastor E.K. Bailey once noted in his preaching series on the topic of marriage: “(Sister), if you spend all of your time turning your husband into a noodle; agreeing with all of your plans and saying, ‘Yes Ma’am’ to your schemes, you will come to a day where you will need to lean on him—and he won’t be able to hold your (emotional) weight!”

      My young brother, again I say, God can fix anything—even those who have been under the shadow of divorce. However, His way is for marriage to last between a man and a woman for a lifetime, right from the start. THIS is why you must minimize your chances for failure by choosing right, at the start of your marriage quest.

HINT #3—BE YE ALERT:

     Nothing spells out to disaster quicker than a young man who is not paying attention to his own life; a young man who moves through life as if he is ‘half asleep’ most of the time. THIS young man is heading for trouble, in more ways than one.

      Contrary to popular belief, women are NOT that hard to figure out. The KJV Bible holds that they are the weaker vessel. Further, one may freely study The Book of Proverbs if they need to understand the various types of good and bad women abounding in our society—especially Chapter 31 of that Book.

      Brother, you may have a bad woman masquerading as a good woman—just to get you to propose. You have to be alert to the little things which are a part of her life. Since we are going to pick this Hint up in our next column, I’ll just end with a few pointers for young brothers to observe about any dateable woman who may be on your arm:

             *How does she handle HER money? If she is ‘high maintenance’, you may not have the income to keep up with her taste for the ‘good life’.

             *How does she view her girlfriends? If they are more important than you are, it is better for you to part as soon as possible. If they are of the ‘low rent’ variety, head for the door immediately, because one of them may ‘set you up’ by attempting to slip you their phone number.

             *Has she already been divorced AND has custody of the kids? Not worth the long term drama, as you will have to deal with her ex. I’ve had at least one friend DIE because an ex didn’t like the fact that he was dating his ex-wife.

             *Will she keep her hands off of you if the going gets tough? More and more women are getting busted for whipping and beating on their husbands, and have gone to jail for their crimes. Even TV shows and movies have caught on to the fact that it is NOT only the husband who may be capable of domestic violence.

      More to come.

      Mike Ramey is a Retired Minister, KJV Bible Teacher, syndicated columnist and Bible Prophecy Specialist who lives in Indianapolis, Indiana.  “The Ramey Commentaries” is one of a variety of his columns appearing and abounding in print and cyberspace, written from a biblical, business, and common-sense perspective since 1996.  To drop him a line—or a whine—the address is still the same: mgmikeramey@yahoo.com.  ©2025 Barnstorm Communications International.