Mr. and Mrs. Marvin X in a central valley grape field.
Wow is all Quita Kirk, mother of nine year old twin boys, can say about her husband, Marvin X. After reading his writings for the first time, she said Wow! His writings took her to new vistas in her thinking--she wanted to read more, so she sought him out. After meeting him, all she could say was Wow!
When he invited her to accompany him out of town on business, she had no idea the business would be their wedding, a hastily arranged affair organized in two hours. The bride was as surprised as the guests, the poet's close friends in the central valley town of Fresno. She had thirty minutes to find an outfit and get to the restaurant of former Nation of Islam official Nadar Ali who found a Sunni Muslim Imam to officiate the ceremony. Marvin's friends, Mrs. and Mr. Rashid Easley and Mr. and Mrs. Ovis Collins, received a call from Marvin telling them to meet him at the restaurant at 6pm for the ceremony.
Mrs. Collins said she didn't think Marvin was serious but she got dressed to be there on time, actually she and Ovis arrived at 6:03. The imam soon arrived with this entourage and the ceremony began. Receptions are planned for the Central Valley and the Bay Area ASAP.
Salaamu Alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatu,
Trully all praise is due to Allaah, we praise him and seek only his help and forgiveness. We also seek refuge wit Allaah from the evil of our nafs(carnal desires) and from the evil of our actions. Those whom Allaah guides(to Islaam) none can lead astray, and those whom he leads astray, NONE can guide. I bear witness that there is NO God but ALLAAH(The One) who has no partna's, and I bear witness that Muhammad(sas) is his slave and Messenger. amma ba'd........................ 3:102 "O ye who believe! Fear Allaah as he should be feared, and die NOT except in a state of Islaam(ie, Muslim)" 4:1 "O Mankind! Fear your Lord who created you from a single soul(Aadam) and from that soul created it's mate(Eve), and from those two(Aadam and Eve) he created many men and many women. So fear Allaah through whom you demand your Mutual rights, and do not severe the ties of kinship. For verily Allaah is ever watchful of ALL that you do.." 33:70-71 "O ye who Believe!! Fear Allaah and Always speak the truth. Thus he will rectify your deeds, AND Forgive you of your sins. And he who obeys Allaah AND his Messenger has Indeed achieved a Great achievement......" Trully the best speech is the speech of Allaah(the Quraan) and the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad(sas)[his sunnah]), and the worst of all matters is those things that are innovated by the people, for every innovation is a Bid'a, and every Bid'a leads astray, and that which leads astray is in the Fire.........
As Muslims, we are Commanded to fulfill our obligations as Human Beings to worship our Lord that created us..51:56 " And I(Allaah) created not Jinn(unseen spirits) and Mankind except that they worship me..." In this obligation Allaah gives us rules and regulations in how we live our lives.
One of the major aspects of Life is the common welfare of society.....Either we are builders in society, or we are destroyers.....Marriage is a major factor that brings about harmony in our societies. Not only is it Positive for society, but it is COMMANDED by Allaah. 24:32 "MARRY those amoung you who are single, and those who are Pious and righteous amoung ur slaves. and IF u are poor(don't worry) for Allaah will provide for them from his Bounties. For Allaah is all Sufficient and Knowing(for his slaves)".........
So we see from this verse that Marriage is Mandatory in Islaam and a thing that is encouraged. It safeguards family structure, and protects us from illicit acts. Fornication and Adultery are some of the leading Destroyer's in society. They bring about chaos, broken homes, not knowing who one's parent's are, and/or even DEATH!!! For many Domestic disputes today deal wit cheatin', baby-daddy/mamma dramas, suspesions, and playin Games. Marriage(TRu marriage) eleviates all that. Now the question is: Who do i marry, and How do i do it?.................Allaah states in Quraan 30:21 "And amoung his signs(miracles) is that he('Allaah) created for you from ur ownselfs(the rib from Aadam) a mate/Wife so that you find in her Sakeena(peace/tranquility), and he also made between you two Love and Mercy.
Verily in This(the makin' of a soul-mate) is a Sign for those who reflect.." Thus when one gets married, it is wit the intent of finding this love, mercy,tranquility, and peace!!! this is the tru essence of marriage, not argueing, cheatin', deceit, games etc but to the contrary the total opposite,,,,,,Thus when we get married, this is the intent and the goal.......Allaah tells the man...MARRY the chaste amoung the woman, those not seeking boyfriends, or those who are promiscuous.
Be they Muslim, OR Jews and Christians (5:5) in hadith the prophet(sas) said, "And marry the woman for (4) four reasons 1.) beauty 2.) wealth 3.) family status and 4.) for her Deen(religious conviction) thus MARRY the one for her DEEN otherwise you'll be a Loser!!" thus when a man marries, it should be that he marries for this reason, as well as fulfilling his obligation to his lord.
For the prophet(sas) said, "Marry, for it is 50% of your Deen(religion), fulfill this half and he'll make the other half easy......and wit regards to the woman, she is to follow this same pattern as well...In the time of the prophet(sas) there was a woman who presented herself to the prophet(sas)[ie, asked his hand in marriage] his first wife Khadijah inquired about the prophet(sas) because she was pleased wit his caliber and his good reputation....so the same applies today....the woman should seek out the God-fearing and he that will teach her and be a good example.
Money, Looks, Family Status etc. do not matter in Islaam. To the contrary, it is these things that will have us loosin' IF they are the sole basis of getting married. As stated above(24:32) money shouldn't be the factor, or the reason for Not gettin married. For Allaah states that IF you get married, it is HE that will provide for you both(for ur obediance) Also in hadith the prophet(sas) was going to marry this man and woman, but before he did he asked the man,"What do you have to give her as a wedding gift?" the man said that he had NOTHING to give because he was a poor man, the prophet(sas) thus asked, "do you even have a iron ring?" he(the man) said, "No," wherein the prophet(sas) asked him, "How much Quraan do you know by hard[memorization]," the man said,"I know such and such surah's[chapters]," the prophet(sas) then said,"
Then TEACH HER these surahs (verses of Quraan/Deen) and THAT will be ur wedding gift to her..." ALLAAHU AKBAR!!! so we see that Allaah makes things easy for us, it is only Mankind that make things hard......
So now that we know Who it is that we wish to marry, now the question is How do we perform it, and What are the rights and Obligations to both the Husband and Wife........
For the HUSBAND- Allaah tells us in Quraan that the Men are the Maintianers and protectors of the Women. That they are the Head of the, and that they have certain obligations upon them.......they are to provide(according to their means), protect, and safequard their wives.....this includes(clothing, food, and shelter) this is his duty, but yet at the same time if the woman Waives these areas, then that is suffice as well....the man is never to hit the woman in the face, nor oppress or abuse her, but to treat her wit respect and honor...he is to respect her family, and be the leader in her learning and in how she conducts her self in the land......he should never deny her intimancy in the bedroom unless for a valid reason, and should talk to her wit respect and honor.....
For the WIFE- Allaah tells us that the Best Women are those that are Obediant and submissive to their husbands...she must obey him in all that he advices UNLESS he tells her to do something opposing to the Quraan and the Sunnah....the prophet(sas) said in hadith, "If Allaah would have commanded anyone to be Worship any one than him, it would have been the woman towards her husband..." not that he is a God but to show his Right and honor......she is to respect her husband by not talkin over him, downplayin him, and respectin' his honor, property, and reputation....she is also to Guard her Chastity in his presence, and in his absence,,,,,,,she is also to honor his home by NOT allowing anyone he disapproves of in her house....she is to beautify herself for him and never deny her bed from him......she can work if she wishes and all her monies is her's unless she wishes to give to her husband.....she is NEVER to be alone with one who is NOT her husband(for the 3rd is shaytaan)_ nor should she tell her husbands businesss......
with any disputes that they(the husband and wife) have, they are to bring about 3rd parties to reconcile and find and solution..........etc etc
a successful marriage AMEEN......................................
The wedding itself consists of 1.) an Imaam (one who conducts the wedding) 2.) A Walee for the Bride(one who safeguards the women's rights at the time of the wedding, preferably her father, brother, uncle etc. one who gives her away at the wedding, but if they are not Muslim than the Imaam will be sufffice and 3.) at least (2) two witnesses......at the time of the wedding, a Mahr/Dowry(wedding gift) is giving.....whatever the bride and groom agree upon that will suffice(be it knowledge, a ring, some oil, or whatever) as long as she agrees then that will suffice....... this ceremony can be done in person, in the visiting room, over the phone etc....as long as AFTER the wedding it is announced to the masses, the Wedding is Valid.
Also after the wedding it is Sunnah to give a dinner..this is called and Waleema,,,,,it can consist of a Lamb, or even some rice, dates etc whatever can be afforded......No blood test is needed in Islaam, for all that is needed is the witnesses and the witness of Allaah to the wedding......this wedding will be binding and valid in the site of Allaah, and should be held as such...Marriage is serious in Islaam, thus there is no room to play wit it................Insha'Allaah this will suffice you in the process of gettin' married in Islaam......there is of course much more but insha'Allaah this will suffice for now.....if you have any questions feel free to ask or Email..........May Allaah bless you both in this journey, and may he blesss you with
your bro. in this Deen.......Abdul-Walee Al-Fresnauwy