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IT TAKES A HUSBAND--TO BE A FATHER!

     Would you like to know one of the reasons behind the demise of ‘Promise Keepers’ back in the nineties? Well, in my humble opinion, the organization went down the tubes when it started to try to play to the women in society. Would you like to know why more and more viewers are ‘turning off’ the Olympics, every four years? Because those power brokers often shift their focus away from the broad, competitive spectrum and play towards the women in society. Would you like to know how out-of-wedlock births (OOWs) are going to be made to decrease across the board? When the political power brokers and social planners get back to basics and start to emphasize marriage between one man and one woman--again!

     Now, my column is not aimed at the topic of same-sex marriage. For me, that is a slam-dunk issue because it is WRONG! The Bible says its WRONG; God wrote the Bible; I agree with God. Case Closed. No, my loyal reader; I’m more interested in the endless celebration of the ‘single life’ with children--and without marriage. It is being touted as the solution to all the woes of single women. Sadly, there are some fatherhood groups who are buying in to this ‘bumper sticker’ mentality of ‘It Takes A Man To Be A Dad’.

     I beg to differ.

     It takes a HUSBAND to be a FATHER--IF you want to do it God’s way!

     IF you don’t, the social wreckage is all around us. Visit the local counseling programs, substance abuse centers, juvenile detention and correction facilities, or local prisons for the end result of a ‘casual carnal encounter.’ The bills CONTINUE to come due, as local and state governments struggle to not only find a way to pay for such services; they must bankroll the people to DEAL with these illegitimate children--and their wayward parents. Add to this the fact that more and more illegal aliens have been entering the United States and having OOW children too!

A PSA KICKED MY KEYBOARD:
      Now, you may wonder what kicked my keyboard. Interestingly enough, a PSA campaign by a group on fatherhood. For weeks, this campaign has bugged me, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on the ‘why’ of it until recently. Marriage was being de-emphasized--but irresponsible procreation was allowed to slide. Then, there was a rather interesting study that came out recently which lists the United States as being NUMBER ONE in the area of single parent homes. Talk about confirmation!

     Brothers, let me break it down for you. Some of you may have come from single-parent homes yourselves. You know the pain and problems that you went through--and may STILL be going through. Why ‘run around’ in the street, repeating the drama and not doing things the right way with giving your children your name, and honoring their mother through marriage?

CHURCH HAS BEEN LETTING OOW ISSUE SLIDE:
     A few years back, I recall reading an article detailing how denominations that DO NOT put forth basic, biblical truths from the pulpit and the pew are having more and more problems keeping their doors open. In other words, by churches catering to the social ‘whims’ instead of the biblical mandate, people don’t see the need to attend church.

     If you can’t say Amen…at least holler OUCH!

     Even sinners KNOW the truth of God’s word, when it comes to sin. They may not LIKE the truth, but they recognize it AS truth! Many of these same churches are amazed that people don’t darken their doors when they offer ‘righteousness lite’. Why go to church if the man in the pulpit and the folk in the pew are acting JUST LIKE the folk you rub elbows with, each and every day and want to have their sin covered up in religious double talk?

     No wonder you see folk cutting their grass, or jogging on Sunday mornings--instead of going to church. To add insult to injury, some of these individuals and families USED to go to church…until the KJV Bible stopped being taught--and obeyed!

     Can I get an AMEN from the cheap seats?

     More disturbing--watching the ‘show’ in the so-called ‘conservative’ churches, whereby ‘Member X’, or ‘Minister X’ has a son/daughter caught up in a sexually compromising situation. There is no ‘shotgun wedding’, nor public discipline in the church, nor shame associated with BOTH the boy and girl involved. Instead, the matter is ‘swept under the rug’, and everyone pretends the SIN has been dealt with. No deacons or Pastors are likely removed because of violation of the biblical requirements guiding these church offices.

     At that specific moment in time, the witness of the church weakens.

     Brothers, there would be no need for ‘baby showers’ for pregnant teenage girls at the schoolhouse, if the Pastor and congregation did their job at the church house AND the parents did their job at home!

     In case you haven’t been told--there is a TEN-generation curse on what the Bible calls ‘Bastards’--those children born out-of-wedlock. The ONLY way that the curse be broken is the Bible way--John 3:16 (KJV). However, there are still consequences in play that MUST be handled. Nevertheless, it is ALWAYS better to take care of first things first! Brothers; don’t BED her--until you WED her.

     You may have steam coming out of your ears right about now, but you KNOW that I’m throwing the matter right down the center of the zone, baby!

RISE OF THE HARDHEADED:
     In truth, there are a lot of women who are 30 and under who have never been pulled aside by their mothers--or another older woman--and taught the basics on male/female relations BEFORE puberty. Some of these young women have children from past relationships and are very bitter. Others have children and like to pretend that they came down out of the sky, rather than from some ‘roll in the hay-hay’ (to paraphrase Frank Sinatra). Others are single, but have been dating what they perceive to be a string of losers--in their view. One of the bottom line principles these women NEED to be taught: “What you GIVE OFF, you will GET BACK!” To state it from the biblical side of the street: “You REAP what you SOW!”

     Brothers, do NOT get involved with a woman who doesn’t know her OWN worth, or is NOT secure in herself. You WILL pay, and pay and pay and NOT get to see your children. It’s called ‘The American Child Support System’. It’s just like Vegas: The House ALWAYS WINS!

     Now I know I’m going to get some bmail on this next point, but I have to state it. MEN are not ‘scared off’ by intelligent, independent, and opinionated women IF they use their skills to build a home instead of building their careers (see Proverbs 31). Too many sisters have forgotten the ability to LISTEN, but not to TALK, TALK, TALK!

     I have an article in my files that cracks me up every time I read the title: “How To Talk Your Way Out Of A Job!” Let’s be honest brothers, there ARE women--some of them in the church house--who have talked themselves OUT of a great potential relationship by NOT listening to a man who was interested in them. You see, there are many cases where a man KNOWS that he is in the presence of the ‘right woman for life’, and goes to get the ring, the preacher, and the church.

     However, the woman TALKS her way out of a marriage proposal.

     It’s simple: Men LEAD…Women RESPOND. If a woman spends too much of her time thinking that she has to LEAD, and ‘fill in’ the ‘slow’ patches in their time together, she will TALK her way out of the relationship--and a proposal. (Hint to the sisters reading my column: if you have ‘tried’ everything else--try silence; it could result in something golden. Like a ring?)

     Face it folks; until we get back to putting traditional marriage in place before procreation, our village will continue to resemble a cemetery--rather than a sanctuary for families. A child CAN NOT be successfully raised--in far too many instances--until they KNOW that their parents were committed to each other BEFORE that child was conceived.

     We presently have a juvenile justice system awash with children who are from single homes who are ‘acting out’ because their parents didn’t make a commitment to each other first--and the child second. If you DON’T believe me, go to your LOCAL juvenile court and talk to those who work with troubled teens. Better yet, volunteer at a juvenile detention facility and watch the carnage yourself. At least 60 to 70 percent of these teen lawbreakers come from single parent homes AND go to church every Sunday!

     Some of these thugs live right down the street from us.

     If sisters want better men, it starts with their recognition of GOOD men who fill the bill. Sure, GOOD MEN are not exciting…but BOYS have their TOYS.
Too many sisters have settled for ‘playing house’ rather than ‘building a home’.
NEVER send, or ACCEPT a THUG to do a MAN’S JOB! We should have learned THAT lesson from watching the antics of the ‘knee’ crowd in the National Football League over the past few seasons. But…I digress.

     We USED to have the equation right before we got ‘free’ in 1964. Have we gotten so ‘wise’ to think that throwing away a successful blueprint would result in anything less than disaster? It DOES take a HUSBAND to be a FATHER.

     Any other ‘solution’ is dancing on the fraying tightrope of selfishness.

     MIKE RAMEY is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE: GOLD. A column written for MEN from a biblical, business, and common sense perspective. Emails welcomed from one and all to manhoodline@yahoo.com. ©2004, 2005, 2020 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International.