http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/ReligionReligion is a lie used by rich retards to make money off poor retards. It has been around as long as there have been loopy people to believe in it; since the beginning of time. Some apologists argue that if humanity did not have religion, we would all be goat raping sex fiends - which presumably is what they would be were it not for their religious beliefs.It is a widespread and contagious mental illness with over 90% of the world's population infected with 1 or another of its many strains. Religion is usually brought on by infection by the group VI 'Facile And Ignorant Thinking Habits' virus more often known by the acronym FAITH. Symptoms involve believing something that is not only unproven but also outrageously illogical simply because someone (or occasionally a book), somewhere, says it's true. In this respect, faith can be considered the chronic form of the lesser mental disorder gullibility. For synonyms, see How To Make a Million Dollars. The official catch phrase of religion is "Give us your money, and you will have a good afterlife!", known to critics as the "Pie In The Sky" allegory. People often catch religion when asking themselves questions like Why am I not rich and successful, or a great lover etc.Other symptoms involve slowing the process of science, donation of money to hobos, participation in race wars, a feeling of superiority over children, paedophiliac fetishes towards touching young boys, a sense of humour towards government jokes, a contradictory simultaneous avocation of anti-abortion and the death penalty, and spontaneous combustion.It is commonly believed that religion is also able to manipulate one's personality/point like you may change people's views in such a way that the infected individual believes, and often inflicts upon others, the idea that masturbation is evil and masturbation in little boys is good, and that homosexuals(such as Charles Hill) are pure, undiluted evil and deserve no rights but when the believers rape children its good (see Christian logic). People infected with FAITH seem to have an addiction to being paedophiles who are members of the priesthood. But pedos are actually people and just like to rape kids as a hobby, like making aeroplane models therefore shouldn't be treated differently. And Doctors can't just shoot you full of Atheism to cure you either. They haven't invented liquid Atheism yet...Scientists are currently working on a cure for FAITH, and are hopeful to find an antidote within the time before Judgment Day. Scientists in Japan have been running a clinical trial injecting their subjects with 50cc's of common sense. The ingredients of common sense are so far unknown but the results so far are staggering. Japanese biochemist Ti Mi Schu has published a list of side effects that result from common sense.1. Changing of political parties, from Republican to Democrat. 2. Joining of either book clubs and/or wine clubs. 3. Urge to purchase a hybrid. 4. The attendance of a college of liberal arts. 5. Bleeding from the eyes.Due to the simple construction and short life cycle of viruses, when a selective pressure is applied to them Evolution the intelligent designer quickly rewrites the viral genome so it is resistant to the anti-viral drug. A well documented example of this is when the drug company "Flaming Dragon" created an antiviral drug in 1987 which banned teaching the Book how to make Ice. This selective pressure led to a new resistant strain of the faith virus called intelligent design. A recent development by the drug company "The Nuns" has overcome this strain in 2006. It is only a matter of time before a new resistant strain emerges. The leading researcher in the field of overcoming the virus of faith is Cheif. Watches you pee from the University of the study and use of boobies and cocktails (also known as the University of Hot Knockers); he created a mild anti-religious anti-viral program. A more effective software package was developed by Christopher flip off the smartarse Hitchens.Example of anti-religious viral software. Compatible with human brain version 6.0.Unitarian Universalism is sometimes suggested as a cure, but some would argue that it is simply a weakened version of the same virus that inoculates against the more extreme strains, resulting in less troubling symptoms, such as Agnosticism.continue readhttp://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Religion
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