“NICE” is The Secret to Noteworthy Networking

By Susan RoAne ~

On a late night television show, actor Ed Burns followed Tom Hanks… who stayed on the set. Ed Burns (The Brothers McMullen) turned to Tom and said, “I can’t believe I am sitting here with you. When I was starting out in this business I worked as a gopher on E TV and three years before that worked for the company that gave the party for League of Their Own. And you asked me to bring you a cup of coffee”. You could see hear and see how Ed Burns felt about the his career path and how he felt to be sharing the stage with Tom Hanks.
Tom Hanks turned to him and said, “Please, tell me that I was nice to you.” “Yes, you were very nice.” Tom Hanks looked relieved and said he was glad. Here is a man with great acclaim, celebrity, career success and wealth and his first concern was that he was nice to this young man who had brought him coffee.
That, in a nutshell, is the RIGHT impression we want to leave with the people who cross our paths in the work world and in our personal, everyday life. We show our character- not by how we treat people in a position to help us-- but how we treat people who can’t… or so we think.
Counter Culture has come to mean something new—how we treat people who work at a counter—the service people on our lives. There are numerous books on how to deliver customer service but very few on how to be a good customer. Be nice, respect people, have a kind word are just basics of common courtesy. Yes, we are all so busy all the time. It is a 24/7 world with multiple demands that force us to multi-task instead of focus on the projects, people and matters at hand. One bagel place had a sign to remind us: “ Please don’t talk on your cell phone while ordering.” What are we thinking??? The client or colleague listens to us order a toasted bagel with a cream cheese and the bagel person is listening to us discuss the problems with our server—perhaps thinking we are talking about him or her.
Let’s be nice and considerate and make an impression that speaks well of us. It’s the best way to build a network of loyal associates who are supportive and to have a life in which we are held in high esteem and valued by others.
Bob, a Boston native, is a software consultant with a national bank who thinks that working his way through school helped him develop a philosophy that serves him well as an executive.
“I had a paper route as a kid, worked as a janitor in high school and had to work my way through college. My parents owned the local cleaners so I know what it is like when people are nice to counter and service people or are not. I was taught that you should always be nice on the way up or the ride down is a rough one. Some people in the field are not nice to vendors and I always was. When it came time to change jobs, my vendors put the word out… and I had six offers. People help you out when you have been nice to them.” It does make the best impression.
The Power of NICE is a best-selling book on negotiating that focuses on just that …the power of nice. Whether it is negotiating a contract, planning a succession strategy or coordinating the marketing plan, being rude, crude or a bully does not establish connections nor make the best impression.
“Nice” is now a good thing.
My concept is not how to “swim the sharks… or the jets” or “win by intimation” or “sucker punch your way to power”. It is how to “do the right thing” that presents the image we want to convey and creates the best impression of who we are.
Doing the right thing can also include many other traits: that we are competent, take charge, smart, collaborative, savvy, ethical, clever, effective, knowledgeable, perceptive, confident, reliable, a good listener and of good humor.
There are many ‘sticky’ situations in both our professional and personal lives as well as those that are plain perplexing. They run the gamut of the events we attend, the office dynamic, addressing an audience, toasting and introducing others, dealing with ornery characters that try our patience, the conversation killers, the complex world of gift-giving, the nuances of the online world and other situations that stump us. RoAne’s Rules provide a guideline and a resource for responses, actions and follow-through that help us through life and make sure our networking works.

Susan RoAne is a keynote speaker and author who’s "worked" trade shows, conventions, planes, and pools, and the bleachers at Wrigley Field. She learned her political lessons growing up in Chicago. Her latest book, the newly revised How To Work A Room (Harper Quill), a national bestseller, and her other bestsellers, What Do I Say Next? and The Secrets of Savvy Networking, are available in audiotape and in local bookstores, through the Book of the Month Club and Quality Paper Back Club, and on the net.

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“NICE” is The Secret to Noteworthy Networking

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