An open letter of apology to Black Men in hopes of Reconciliation.

by Nojma Muhammad 

Dear Black Man,

I have become a woman that you no longer recognize. I have allowed our enemy to impregnate me with his ideas and thoughts. I have allowed an illusion of independence to keep us separated. I have fooled myself into believing that my degrees places me degrees above you.
I humbly come to you asking forgiveness. I come to you asking you to forgive me for not supporting you. I come to you asking you to forgive me for not truly loving you. I was taught to hate myself, then hate you. My desire to  reproduce you was killed by our enemy. I apologize for teaching my daughters that you will fail them, and continuning the cycle of an illusion of indepedence with them. I apologize for not encouraging you, for not being more patient with you, for not understanding your plight, your trials and your tribulations. 

I apologize for thinking in order to gain strength I had to weaken you. I apologize for disturbing your peace, in order to have peace within myself, or what I thought was peace. My life has been in peril without you. I tried to convince myself that I don’t need you, but you are a necessity. I can’t even continue the cycle of life without you. I apologize for my harsh tone, for using my tongue as a sword, for telling you that you are nothing, when in fact you are everything. 

I apologize for mistreating you, disrespecting you, neglecting you and belittling you. I know that I have aided in breaking you, and I am beneficial in rebuilding you. I am acknowleding the wrongs that I have committed against you,and I am confessing my faults. By acknowledging my wrongs, doesn’t mean I am absolving you of your duty, but rather I am re-committing myself to my duty to you. 

I have relinquished my womb from our enemy and I am returning it to it’s rightful owner; you.

I tried to walk this journey of life without you, but I realized that I should be walking this journey with you, and beside you.I pray that you accept my sincere apology, and that we can start the process of reconciliation, so we can love each other and have productive and successful relationships that will set the standard for our children.

Black Man……….I love you…..

A Black Woman who concedes that her womb was one of many…….

Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad 

To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit; Nojma Reflects.




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  • NYMetro

    It confuses me when people say they don't have to apolgize if they know they may have done something they didn't intend to. Like committing harm or damage unintentionally. This Sista takes responsibility or accountability for the harm she may have caused unitentionally and she has nothing to apologize for but people are expected to apologize for stepping on someone's people's feet or bumping into them unintentionally??? Help me understand how that makes sense. 

  • Chicago-Midwest

    Ok, in some part, I agreed with Sis. Regina. I hear, some sisters talking about their men and the no-good that he (they), do. In essence; that's SOME men (boys). Because, they had not developed, nor learned the facts of themselves. A lot of brothers, grew up with no male (men), in the house. So, in their way of learning about manhood, they took it to the streets. Their are not, too many positive male role models in the streets. One, will have to separate himself, and to studied what it takes to be a real man. Yes, a man should learn from a female, and visa versa. I try to educate our young men; who are labeled as "at-risks" and placed in treatment centers. It's the only way to get their attention. In most cases; we are crying out for attention. It's part of the love we didn't get, and it's nobody's fault. And, the way it is, came from the traumatic experience of slavery, the jim crow era, the civil rights, and welfare.

    Through our hardships, and bad relationships with each other as a people. I still have love, for my people, to help our people, and guide our people. I love you, Black Woman, regardless. Apology accepted, no. Appreciated, yes. Now, what...can others, agree with you?


  • Georgia

    This is wonderful and much needed.  "...By acknowledging my wrongs, doesn’t mean I am absolving you of your duty, but rather I am re-committing myself to my duty to you."  This phrase should go far to relieve any defensiveness that some sisters might feel while reading this beautifully stated apology.  I think (hope) we are all clear as to who the enemy is, and it isn't each other.  This apology can certainly serve as a useful reminder, a touchstone.  Sharing with my sons and husband.  Meda asi pi, Sister Nojma.

  • NYMetro

    When we begin to consider, work and study with one another, especially in a new language as Kiafrakan then we shall not only be reconciling and reciprocating, but receiving the wisdom, knowledge and knowhow that it takes to build, support and maintain the love and forgiveness necessary for true relationships and most importantly how to thrive in the one life that has been given to each of us.

  • West

    . From this black woman's perspective initially I felt insulted by this because I am thinking what in the world do we have to apologize for.




    I AM THINKING IN LINE WITH WHAT YOU SHARED ABOUT, WHAT do we have to apologize for?





  • Georgia

    . From this black woman's perspective initially I felt insulted by this because I am thinking what in the world do we have to apologize for. We were put in the position where we had to be strong or die. At least this is my testimony. If I lash out with my tongue it is because you have hurt me so bad, disappointed me so bad and that is all I have to fight with. I have found that black women stick with black men regardless. We loved OJ prayed for a not guilty plea although he would not be caught dead with us. I am really wrestling with this cuz I just don't see women who really berate there men. In fact, I know more women who work full time and still come home and clean and cook for their men. I have seen a many of men get treated like Kings although they display some of the most doggish tendencies. To blame the woman because the man came out of her womb to me is quite harsh. There are so many experiences one has between birth and manhood that makes one who they are. My perspective is in general black women are doing the best they can. Who wouldn't be angry if you are left to be mother/father/nurture/ provider. Many men are not run off they just choose to leave. Many are not leaving because the woman is a bytch. I think a lot of what has happened in our relationships is due to social engineering. The media, the prison industrial complex there are just so many dynamics going on and trust sister it has very little to do with a woman being a bytch.

    (This is my reply on facebook)


    Regina Neequaye

    Coming Soon - Future home of something quite cool
  • NYMetro

    I appreciate the apology and I need to create a reciprocal apology.


    Yao Khepra the Evolutionary aka YKTE

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