role - Blogs - TheBlackList Pub2024-03-29T07:55:14Zhttps://www.theblacklist.net/profiles/blogs/feed/tag/roleSexual Harassment: Who is the Villain?https://www.theblacklist.net/profiles/blogs/sexual-harassment-who-is-the-villain2017-11-26T20:19:16.000Z2017-11-26T20:19:16.000ZDr. Kinaya C. Sokoyahttps://www.theblacklist.net/members/DrKinayaCSokoya<div><p>Women must stop portraying themselves as perpetual victims. As an African American woman, I have been more oppressed by women than men. So, women, stop the sanctimonious attitude!</p><p>This essay is commentary on the recent revelations and accusations of sexual harassment, rape, and pedophilia committed by powerful men. It attempts to put this problem into context. First, with exception of the second woman who accused Congressman Al Franklen of improper behavior, I believe the women who have come forward and shared their stories. They are survivors who are brave and credible, and should be believed. Second, there is no excuse for the improper behavior committed by men that they described. The men accused are weak, giving in to their base instincts and socialization. Having said that, women are not innocent of this development. They must also be held accountable.</p><p>Historically, women have been oppressed. They were considered the property of their husbands. Men believed that they were entitled to control the country and the world. They went to work; and, women stayed home, cleaned the house, cooked and raised their children. Women’s virtue was sacred. Her body belonged to her husband. Social messages told males that they were smarter and superior to females in every way. They could even legally beat their wives if they chose. With women’s suffrage, feminism, and the Civil Rights Movement, women have made significant progress.</p><p>However, women as a group has not risen to the challenge of ensuring a continued trajectory of their emancipation from oppression. They have instead partnered with men to ensure they continue to be viewed as meat, judged by the shape of their bodies. The beauty industry is a billion-dollar industry. While it is probably controlled by men, women drive it. That is just the tip of the iceberg. Other culprits are Ms. America pageants, Ms. Universe pageants, commercials (like underwear commercials) that portray women as sexual objects, the clothing industry that produces and sells skimpy revealing clothing, exercise clothing that looks like underwear, the magazine industry with sexually explicit images of women, music videos where women are called bitches and hoes, etc. etc. etc. I could go on and on.</p><p>I have highlighted these industries as examples, but women have made personal choices that have negatively impacted other women. This is not a racial phenomenon. Women of all colors have perpetuated this problem. Remember when Jennifer Lopez made headlines when she wore a revealing gown that showed most of her body, with the exception of her vagina? Remember when Rihanna wore a transparent gown that revealed her naked body? What about women who wear bikinis that show their buttocks? They were not forced to do these things. They made an intentional choice.</p><p>The popular argument against this narrative is women should be able to walk down the street naked and not be attacked or touched. That’s true but, as we see, that does not reflect reality. It is well documented that males think about sex every few minutes. It is also well documented that males are visual animals. They are sexually stimulated by what they see. That’s why pornographic magazines and movies are popular. Knowing this why would women wave this red flag in front of them?</p><p>I have been amazed at the number of girls and women who publicly wear outfits that reveal all their body parts, including vaginas. While their vaginas may not be visible, its shape is clearly outlined through the clothing. Micro mini dresses and skirts are worn so short that the slightest wrong move could reveal the women’s vaginas. Bras that boost up breasts and show as much cleavage as possible are also problematic. These images are paraded in front of men and boys daily. They see it all around them. If you do not want men to view females as a piece of meat, this practice must stop.</p><p>Western men and women criticize eastern countries where women are covered up while at they peel as much clothing as possible from their women. I’m not saying that all women must be fully covered from head to toe, but there must be an acceptable compromise. Glamorous does not have to be sexy. Beauty should be internal based on character.</p><p>The practices of the industries cited above and the bad choices of women have negatively affected other women who are just trying to live their lives. While women can do what they wish with their bodies, they must understand how their choices are affecting other women. Women, you do have a choice. You can pursue career paths other than using your body to make money. If women collectively decided to make other choices, the industries will eventually dry up; and, the images and messages will change. In addition, I believe that if these things are done, fewer women would be sexually victimized. Women, we cannot solely rely on men to do this. We must take affirmative steps to stop this dynamic. Stop supporting and combat industries that promote and/or reinforce the sexualization of women and girls. Make different personal and professional choices. Teach children to respect females. These are just some things you can do. There are many more. Feminists and womanists rise up and fulfill your mission. Empower women and girls and educate men and boys.</p><p> </p></div>Positive Black Men - Show Yourselveshttps://www.theblacklist.net/profiles/blogs/positive-black-men-show-yourselves2012-06-10T17:25:24.000Z2012-06-10T17:25:24.000ZDarrell Garretthttps://www.theblacklist.net/members/DarrellGarrett<div><div class="fb-social-like-widget"></div><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;"><img alt="Black Professional Men" src="http://afrodaddy.com/sites/default/files/Black%20Professional%20Men%20Cropped.jpg" style="margin-left:4px;margin-right:4px;float:left;width:113px;height:113px;" /><strong>Sometimes it seems like African Americans are in a silent war – the war against the media. </strong> The problem is that most of us don’t even know that the war is raging on; and we are losing. Many of the breakthroughs on television of positive African American male characters have been reversed, and what once seemed like a leveling of the media playing field has turned into a 500-foot waterslide leading us right down the tubes.</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;">It happened so fast that we may not have even realized it, but gone from TV are the hardworking, middle class black men taking care of their families.</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;"><img alt="Carl Winslow Family Matters" src="http://afrodaddy.com/sites/default/files/CarlWinslow.jpg" style="margin-left:4px;margin-right:4px;float:right;width:140px;height:133px;" />Remember just a few years ago when you had these guys on TV to look up to:</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 5pt 20px;">Michael Kyle of My Wife and Kids</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 5pt 20px;">Urkel’s neighbor Carl Winslow, the hardworking policeman on "Family Matters"</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 5pt 20px;">Julius Rock slaving away at 2 jobs to take care of his family on "The Chris Rock Show"</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt 20px;">Phillip Banks the lawyer, then judge on the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air"</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;">"The Cosby Show" and all of those positive male characters seems like a far way dream.</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;">Today there are ZERO black male role models on television. You cannot find one black father taking care of a family. In fact there aren't any <a href="http://afrodaddy.com/for-the-daddies/black-family-shows-10-famous-black-fathers-tv-history">black family shows</a> on television period. We may not have had many in the past, but at least we had them ("Good Times", "The Bernie Mac Show", etc.). These black men had jobs and held it together through all the ups and downs. Even Fred Sanford took care of his “Big Dummy” Lamont, and J.C. Watts was a devoted single father in "New York Undercover".</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><strong>Young boys have nobody to look up to on television as models of what a strong, professional, family man should be. </strong></span></p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;">We all know that television does not raise our kids, but we also know the subliminal brainwashing that TV does to all who watch it. Network TV through its programming is saying loudly that there really are no black professional family men out there.</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;">With this background we come to the main point of this article – young black boys need black male role models to show them that they can be good fathers, businessmen, entrepreneurs and everything in between. If we wait for the media to portray these images on TV we will be waiting for a long time.</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><strong>If we want young black men to see positive male role models, they will need to see US. </strong></span></p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;">There are thousands of black doctors, lawyers, psychologists, business owners, pharmacists and young people need to know that they exist. So how do you make yourself “visible”? </p><p style="margin:0in 0in 5pt 20px;">- Talk about your job at school on parent-child day. </p><p style="margin:0in 0in 5pt 20px;">- Open up a shop in an African American neighborhood. </p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt 20px;">- Volunteer to participate in a neighborhood car wash. </p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;">Anything that we can do to be more visible to young black men, the better.</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;text-align:center;"><img alt="Yale Black Men's Union" src="http://afrodaddy.com/sites/default/files/Yale%20Black%20Mens%20Union.jpg" style="width:483px;height:291px;" /></p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;text-align:center;"><em>Just imagine if all these brothers walked into you child's middle school? Now that's inspiration!</em></p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;">When young people see adult black men doing something positive, they often are inspired. Most of the time a word doesn’t have to be spoken. Just seeing a young brother in a nice suit and a briefcase is an EXTREMELY positive image and believe it or not too many youngsters have never seen this in real life.</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;"><img alt="Charles Barkley - Role Model" src="http://afrodaddy.com/sites/default/files/Charles%20Barkley%20Role%20Model2_0.jpg" style="margin-left:4px;margin-right:4px;float:right;width:196px;height:135px;" />As Charles Barkley famously said “I am not a role model”. He is an athlete playing a game for our entertainment. Kanye West is a rapper and producer; making music to entertain us. He is not a role model. <a href="http://afrodaddy.com/The-AfroBlog/media-brainwashing-young-black-america">Today's young rappers</a> who get all the video channel time and radio air play are the ANTI-role model. In any event, entertainers are not role models and being an entertainer has little or nothing to do with being a good man anyway.</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;">The everyday black man taking care of himself and/or his family is the best role model and that is what our kids need to see. You can play your part so easily – by just being visible. </p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;">For those reading this: we are the Revolution - you and me. There is no one else.</p><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;"><em><strong>(Originally published at <a href="http://afrodaddy.com" target="_blank">AfroDaddy.com</a> - The Black Man Survival Guide)</strong></em></p></div>